the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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