margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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