we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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