hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
