So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
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