it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
