Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
