this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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