nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
