Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
