and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
