seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
