She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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