respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
