Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
These tits shall not be calmed
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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