Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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