HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
