bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
worst night to have a conscience
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
