I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
