Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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