You really coming over, don't trick.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
