After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
