Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
