i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
