Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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