nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
MIDGETS
????
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
