I think my fart just growled at me.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
