Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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