what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Randomize
