On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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