It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
