There is no way he is gay with that hair.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
