I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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