Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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