Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
