Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
