and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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