you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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