that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
