I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
