its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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