your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm determined to sit on that face.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
