And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Randomize
