god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
