That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
