i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
