Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
