have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
