your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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