You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
