I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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