I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Life is so much better after having sex.
he was CRYING into my vagina
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
