You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
