? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Vodka?
Forever.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
